Having Faith (Cold Bay Wolf Pack Book 1) Page 6

  He undid his belt, and shoved his jeans down his legs. It was better that she rejected him now, when all they’d shared was a kiss. Now he knew where he stood with her and he wouldn’t forget again. He could go forward with his plan to take Grace for his mate as if there hadn’t been even a split second’s hesitation about doing so. His pack’s survival depended on him getting this right. His responsibilities were to his pack and to his son. Now that he knew where he stood with her, he wouldn’t forget it again.

  6

  How two people could manage to avoid each other while living in the same house seemed to stretch the imagination, but somehow she and Logan managed to do it for the past week. He wouldn't look at her when they were in the same room together, and she thought perhaps that was for the best. Just because they had a son together, who needed both of them to guide him into adulthood, didn't mean that she and Logan needed to be joined at the hip.

  The only time they'd spoken today had been early this morning when she'd grabbed a cup of coffee when he was on his way out the door for what she assumed was his morning run. He told her that he planned to tell Connor the truth about himself soon and asked her what would be the best way to approach it. She had no idea how to broach the subject, but assured him that at twelve Connor had a much easier time suspending disbelief.

  "Mom, are you listening?" Connor snapped his fingers in front of her face, and Faith jerked her head up to look at him.

  She was sitting in the living room and Connor had come in to talk to her. Unfortunately she'd been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't heard a word he'd said. "I'm sorry, honey. What did you say?"

  "Logan has business at the bar, and he wants me to come in with him. He says I can play the pinball machine until he's done and then he's going to have the cook make pizza for us."

  She noticed that she hadn't been included in the invitation, and had to tamp down on the slight hurt that caused her. She needed to get over it. Connor wasn't just hers anymore, and he needed to spend time with his father. She'd better reconcile herself to the fact that time with his father may very well not include her. Besides it was for the best. The kiss Logan had given her last night had sent her reeling and she wasn't sure she could sit across a restaurant booth from him and pretend that everything was normal.

  "Pizza sounds good. I'm sure you'll have a good time hanging out with your dad."

  "Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself? I'd ask you to come but Logan says that he and I need to have a man to man talk."

  So he was going to tell Connor tonight. This was something that needed to happen between the two of them and the sting of not being invited faded away. As much as she loved her son, his werewolf nature was something that she could never be able to identify with. He would have questions and those questions would be better answered by his father.

  "I'll be fine here, honey. You just have fun with your dad." Faith opened her arms out of reflex and was surprised when Connor voluntarily walked over to her and bent down to hug her. Hugs from him had been hit and miss lately, and as she pressed a kiss on his cheek she hoped that it meant that she was starting to get her boy back.

  Connor stepped back and when she looked up Logan was standing there with a look she couldn’t identify on his face. “Go get in the truck kiddo and let’s get this show on the road.”

  “Okay. See you, Mom.” Connor went past his father and out the door. Logan stood still for a moment looking at her.

  “I’m telling him tonight.” He looked a little ill at ease, and despite the need to keep her distance from him, her heart went out to him.

  “Just be honest with him. It’ll be fine.”

  “I left the number for the bar in the kitchen in case you need it.” He gave her a curt nod and turned on his heel to walk out the door.

  Why did he have to kiss her? All it had done was show her just how much she still wanted him and had made her push him away. Now things were going to be awkward between them and that couldn’t be good for Connor.

  They’d been gone for about thirty minutes when her cell phone rang and the number that popped up was that of the motel. She answered it and was surprised to hear Bill on the other end of the phone.

  “Bill, this is a surprise. Did I leave something at the motel?” That was the only reason she could think of that he would be calling her.

  “You haven’t.” He cleared his throat for a second, and Faith noticed that he sounded nervous. “I was wondering if you’d be interested in having coffee with me?”

  Faith thought for a moment. Bill seemed like a nice enough man but there was no attraction there for her. But considering that she was at war with herself over a man who she was wildly attracted to and couldn’t have, perhaps it wasn’t a bad thing that Bill kept her heart rate stable.

  “That sounds nice.” She cringed for a second, since she was sure the last thing a man wanted to hear when asking a woman out was she thought it sounded nice. It was a pretty tepid reaction, but then she wasn’t looking for fireworks at this point in her life. “I didn’t know there was a coffee shop in town.”

  “There isn’t. I know a place down the highway that serves the best coffee. And if you’re hungry, maybe we could get a bite to eat too. It’s a bit out of the way, but the only other place to go around here is Sawyer's Place.”

  And she certainly didn’t want to go out on a date there, not with her son and his father watching them. It wasn’t that she wanted to hide the fact that she had a date with Bill, but she didn’t want to see Logan while she was making an effort to get to know another man.

  “I’m free now if that would be alright? Connor is out with his dad and I have my evening free. It wouldn’t take me long to get ready.”

  “That sounds great.” He seemed surprised and pleased that she was going to follow through so soon.

  She felt a small twinge of guilt for agreeing to this date. She pushed it away. Bill seemed like a nice man, and perhaps they would find they had a lot in common. There was nothing wrong with going out for a pleasant evening with a nice person. Most of the dates she went on were with men who were nice, if a bit boring. The fact that none of those relationships had worked out didn’t mean that this one would end the same way.

  “I’ll just need directions to where I’m going and then I’ll get ready.”

  Bill quickly gave her directions and they agreed on a time to meet. Once she hung up the phone, she went into the kitchen and found the number for the bar written on a piece of paper in Logan’s bold hand writing.

  She dialed the number and waited for the phone to be answered. A part of her hoped it wasn’t Logan who answered the phone.

  “Sawyer's Place, Alex speaking.” There was a lot of noise in the background and it sounded like things were much busier than the last time she was there with Connor.

  “Hi Alex. It’s Faith. Can I speak to Connor please?”

  Alex told her to hold on, and she mentally sorted through her wardrobe while she waited. It didn’t sound like where she was going was going to be fancy, but she wanted to look like she’d put in some effort into her appearance. While Bill didn’t thrill her in the way that Logan did, she still wanted to put forth an effort with him.

  “Hi Mom.” Faith was startled back to reality when her son came on the phone.

  “Hi honey. I just wanted to let you know that I’m going out and might not be home when you and your father come home.”

  “Okay. Where are you going?”

  Faith hesitated for a second. She didn’t think she had anything to hide, but a part of her told her that Logan might not like it that she was out with another man. She gave herself a mental shake. It didn’t matter what Logan liked, he didn’t own her and she owed him nothing.

  “I’m going out for supper with Bill, the man from the motel. I don’t know how long you and your father will be out so I thought I’d tell you in case you get home before me.”

  “Okay. Talk to you later.”

  She was in the mi
ddle of saying goodbye when the phone went dead in her hand. At least Connor didn’t seem too concerned with her going out on a date. But then it wasn’t really a date. She was going out to dinner with a nice man, and if he didn’t exactly send a thrill through her when he looked at her the way Logan did, that didn’t mean anything. She’d given into the fire of attraction that Logan inspired in her once and she’d been devastated when he’d walked away. It was better for her heart if it was kept locked safely inside her, and going out with Bill would make sure of that.

  Connor kept up an endless stream of chatter the entire way into town, and a smile pulled at the corner of Logan’s mouth. The boy was finally warming up to him, and he hoped that the bombshell he was going to drop on him wouldn’t ruin everything. Connor needed to know about his true nature, and it was his duty as his father to guide him through this. He couldn’t help feeling a little out of his depth, since this was new territory for him. He’d have to muddle through the best way he could and hope he didn’t screw it up like he had with Connor’s mother.

  Why the hell had he kissed her? He should have controlled the impulse inside him, since now he felt like he had to walk on egg shells in his own home. She’d told him when he’d first taken her to the house that she wasn’t going to sleep with him. He should have taken that as a warning to keep his distance, instead of putting himself out there and being rejected when she’d pushed him away.

  He pulled into the parking lot and shoved thoughts of Faith aside. His focus needed to be on his pack and his son. Nothing else mattered.

  “Go ask Alex to unlock the pinball machine so you can reuse the quarters that are in there. I shouldn’t be too long and then we can eat.”

  “Okay.” Connor sped away toward Alex and Logan still couldn’t believe that there was a miniature version of himself walking around. God, he couldn’t screw things up with Connor, which was another reason not to get tangled up with his mother. It was just something else to add to the list of reasons why he needed to keep his hands and his thoughts to himself where she was concern.

  Mason was at the bar, and when he saw Logan in the mirror he got up and walked up to him.

  “There’s someone waiting for you in your office.” There was a deep scowl etched between Mason’s eyebrows and it seemed that whoever was waiting for him in his office it hadn’t made his friend very happy. “I’ll see you later.”

  Logan gave his head a shake and walked toward his office door. He knew what Mason’s problem was, and he was going to give him one more day to be as ugly as a bear with a sore ass and then he was going to knock his head against a wall until he cut it out. Logan had more than enough shit going on in his life right now without adding a temperamental lieutenant into the mix.

  He walked into his office and stopped short. A woman sat in the chair across from his desk, and there was a familiarity to the fall of blond hair that went past her shoulders. She turned her face toward him, and he knew exactly why Mason wasn’t happy about this particular visitor. It was Grace, and she had a sober look on her face.

  “Hi Logan. It’s been a long time.” She stood up and he opened his arms. He’d only ever been able to see her as his best friend’s girl and it was a little weird to have her standing in front of him now and knowing that she was the woman he had to commit his life to.

  “How are you doing?” He gave her a quick hug, and noticed how different it was holding her against him from what it felt like to hold Faith. There was no fire inside him, and hugging her was like hugging a female relative. It didn’t bode well for when he had to make a child with her, but he’d overcome that hurdle somehow. At least with her he knew that she wasn’t going to reject him for who he was since she was a wolf too.

  “I’ve been a lot better, especially since walking in here.” She pulled back and looked up at him. Her green eyes swam for a moment before she took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face. She went back to the chair she’d vacated and folded her hands in her lap.

  “Did Mason cross the line with you?” He was going to have to kick his ass if that was the case. He’d ordered him to show her the respect she deserved and if he’d disobeyed, then an ass kicking was in order.

  “In order for him to cross a line he’d have to talk to me. I don’t want to talk about Mason. It’s been over between us for a long time. So what are we going to do about the council’s machinations? I’m assuming you don’t want to become a small fish in Batesburg’s pond?”

  “It would be the worst thing that could happen to this pack. I think binding ourselves together would be for the best.” Her eyebrows climbed to her forehead and she seemed surprised by his answer. She shouldn’t be, since being absorbed into Batesburg was the worse thing for her already troubled pack too. “Why do you look so surprised by that?”

  “To be honest, I thought you’d suggest that we find another way to merge our packs without having to tie ourselves together for life. I’ve heard rumors that you have a son you didn’t know about. I thought maybe there was something between you and the boy’s mother.”

  Logan sighed. In a town this small news spread like wild fire, and there was no bigger news than the story about a young boy walking around town who looked exactly like the pack’s alpha.

  “I will admit that my life has gotten a little complicated since I got back from meeting with the council. My son’s name is Connor, and his mother has brought him here because he needs me. But as far as she and I are concerned, there isn’t anything between us. Not anymore.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to take you away from someone you have feelings for. I could see if I can find a way for our packs to merge without us having to mate with each other. I’m sure there are other options.”

  She seemed to be pushing for them not to be together and he wondered about it. Maybe there was someone in her life that she didn’t want to give up. His thoughts had been solely centered on what he was going through with Faith that he hadn’t considered that mating with him might not be what Grace wanted.

  “Is there a reason why you don’t want to mate with me? Is there another man?” He hoped not. The one way to guarantee the success of the merger was to do it the way the council had suggested. If there was another way, Logan couldn’t think of it and it would take time to dig up something else. Time the council may not grant them.

  A sad smile crossed her face. “There hasn’t been anyone for a long time. I have no personal reason not to want to go through with this. But I saw the look on Mason’s face when I walked in. He doesn’t seem that happy about the prospect of having me be a part of the pack.”

  “We could always tell him the truth, about what happened that summer.” The only two people who knew the real reason she’d pushed Mason away that summer were in this room, and the secret he kept from his best friend had alway sat uneasily inside him. But he was keeping it for her, and it was up to her to decide if it was something Mason needed to know after so much time had passed.

  Her face closed up and he knew that she wasn’t going to say anything about the past to his best friend.

  “Do you honestly think it would be easier for him to deal with now, fifteen years later? Do you think he’ll have an easier time watching me tie myself to his best friend and alpha? You promised me that you’d never tell him what happened and I am going to make you keep your word. Telling him now would only hurt him. It’s better if he hates me.”

  She could be right. In the long run, learning the truth would only make things worse for Mason. But that didn’t mean he was off the hook about his behavior.

  “I told him that he is to be respectful to you. You will be my mate, and that position deserves respect. If he’s out of line with you in anyway, tell me and he’ll answer to me.” He reached across the desk and held his hand toward her, face up. She slipped her hand into it and he gave her a squeeze.

  “You’ve always been a good friend to me, Logan. And to Mason. I hope he doesn’t lose sight of that after all this.” She bl
inked her eyes rapidly and blew out a sharp breath. “Anyway, the council has given us until the fall to have our binding ceremony so there is no need to rush. You have a son who needs you and I think you should focus on him without mudding the waters by adding another relationship to the mix.”

  “Thank you.” He did want to focus his attention on Connor, and he was glad she was willing to wait. Although he knew that binding himself with her was what he had to do, he wasn’t quite ready to make that leap yet, and by the look on her face he didn’t think she was either.

  She stood up and picked her purse up by the strap that was hooked on the back of the chair.

  “It was good seeing you again, Logan. We’ll talk soon.” She hitched her purse on her shoulder and walked out his office door.

  He sat back down at his desk and raked his fingers through his hair. He needed to do this, his pack’s future was at stake but he couldn’t seem to get rid of the image of Faith from his mind. She set his blood on fire and for a moment he wished it wasn’t that way. Things would be so much easier for him if he felt a tenth of the desire Faith made him feel when he looked at Grace. But all he felt for Grace was friendship.

  He pushed himself away from his desk so he could spend some time with Connor. He still needed to tell him the truth about himself, and he needed to turn his mind to how he was going to do that instead of thinking about a woman who clearly didn’t want him.

  7

  “This isn’t working is it?” The corner of Bill’s mouth turned up as he looked at Faith, and a blush burned her cheeks.

  She’d tried hard to put Logan from her mind, tried to give Bill a chance but she’d been distracted for most of this date, and every time she looked at Bill she found herself comparing him to Logan.

  “I’m sorry. I think you’re a really nice man.” She searched for what else she could say to him that wouldn’t offend him. The truth was that as a romantic partner Bill was a no go. Every man she’d dated since Connor was born had been a carbon copy of the man sitting across from her and could have been interchanged quite easily with him as well. After being with a man as dynamic as Logan she’d been gun shy and hadn’t wanted to tangle with men of the same intensity and so she’d chosen men like Bill. Steady men, who wouldn’t have left in the middle of the night but didn’t exactly inspire the fires of passion in her either.