Having Faith (Cold Bay Wolf Pack Book 1) Read online

  He knew that wasn’t all of it. That was only the surface argument about why he was here, but he didn’t want to look at the one underneath. This need for her, this irresistible desire for her would burn itself out. Wouldn't it?

  She moved beside him and he looked over at her. In the dim light coming in through the bedroom window, he could see her eyes open a little. She gave him a sleepy smile and he could feel himself being pulled toward her, as if that smile was bait on a hook and she was reeling him in.

  “What are you thinking about so hard?” Sleep was thick in her voice and the husky tone of it stroked over him like a hand stroking a cat. He cupped her face and looked into her eyes. The corner of her mouth pulled up as she smiled at him and he couldn’t resist brushing his lips on hers.

  “What I always seem to be thinking about lately.” He brushed a lock of hair from her face as a wave of tenderness went through him. God she was so beautiful, naked in his bed, bathed in moonlight. It was like she belonged here.

  “And what’s that?” She licked her bottom lip and he tracked the movement with his eyes. His slumbering desire, which had always been lurking beneath the surface since she’d showed up at his bar, roared to life.

  “You.” And it was true. It seemed that all he could think about lately was her. She was in his home, under his skin and now she was in his bed.

  “I should go back to my room. I don’t want Connor to see me in your bed. I don’t want him confused.” Her voice was a whisper across the skin of his chest, and he knew he should open his arms, should let her go back to her bed for the rest of the night. It would be the sensible thing to do. He didn’t want Connor to be hurt, to think that he and his mother were going to be together, that they'd be a complete family when everything was still so unsettled. Chances were good that the fire between them would burn itself out.

  “There’s still a lot of night left.” His arms tightened instead as he pulled her over on top of him. There was no letting her go right now. He wanted her too much, needed to feel her on his skin.

  “Logan.” His name was a sigh on her lips as he tunneled his fingers in the long silk of her hair. She leaned forward and fused her mouth with his.

  God he was so hard, he needed her so much. That first taste of her, thirteen years ago, had scared the crap out of him and now he saw why. She was like a drug, the most addictive and powerful drug in the world for him. One taste of her and he was lost. Even after thirteen years apart all it took was for him to be inside her body once and the cravings for her started all over again. She felt like she was under his skin and no matter how this all turned out, he would carry her there for the rest of his life.

  She levered herself up and she must have felt the same way he was feeling. He couldn’t draw this out and neither could she, if her grasping him in her hands was any indication. She put him inside her warm, wet body and a growl was ripped from him as he flexed his hips up. Fuck, she felt so good and she was more than just a warm body, more than just a vessel to pour his desire inside. He’d had other women before and since being with her, but it had never been like this. The need for someone else had never been this hungry with anyone else but her. It should worry him, and perhaps once his body wasn’t clamoring for hers, it would. But right now all he could think about, all he could feel, was her.

  He dug his fingers in the flesh of her hips as she moved on top of him. Looking at her riding him with the blue light of the moon highlighting the curves of her body triggered something primitive inside him. It had been given life when he’d learned she was out with another man, and now being inside her only fed it, made it stronger. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she was his woman, that she belonged to him and only him. He wanted to mark her with his body, to brand himself inside her brain so she’d know that all of her was his.

  With a deep growl he pulled her down to him and kissed her with all the emotion that was churning inside him. He needed to take her, to mate with her and make it so that there wasn’t room in her head for any other man but him.

  He flipped their bodies so that she was on her back and he was on top of her, buried so deep inside her that there was no way to tell where he ended and she began. His thrusts grew stronger and the sound of her moans of excitement, the way she undulated her body beneath him, only incited him to take her harder. She was his woman, and she would know it.

  “Say my name.” He growled his command as he thrust hard inside her and held himself there. She rubbed her hips against him, and he fought to keep himself still. She needed to know that he was in command, that he was the one giving her pleasure, that he was the only one who could take her this high. “Say it. Tell me that I’m the only one in your head while I’m in your body.”

  “Oh God, it’s you Logan. It’s always been you.”

  Her words unlocked something deeply buried inside him, something that was almost frightening in its intensity. It took hold of him and he was powerless to think of anything else but her. Her name was a chant in his head as he pounded his body inside her. He couldn’t get enough, he could glut himself on her for the rest of his life and it would never be enough. She was made for him and he for her.

  She called his name as her body tightened around him and he knew she found paradise. He wasn’t long in following her and the pleasure he found in her body gripped him tight and wouldn’t let him go. She milked every ounce of satisfaction from him and he was deaf, dumb and blind to everything but her. He poured a piece of his soul into her as he clung to her. If he died in this moment he knew he would not be taken to heaven because heaven was here, in his bed, with her in his arms.

  Soon enough, their bodies cooled and rational thought returned. As much as he wanted to keep her with him, he knew that their life wasn’t only about them. So when she moved to leave his bed, to go to the one that their son thought was hers, he let her go.

  His bed felt empty without her there, and although he tried to sleep, it eluded him. Perhaps the need for her would fade eventually but what would happen if it didn’t?

  Faith could hardly keep the smile off her face as she looked out the kitchen window while she drank a glass of water. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and her body was thoroughly satisfied. It had been a couple of weeks since her date with Bill and the fall out of Logan’s jealousy over it. The passion she had for him showed no signs of burning out.

  She gasped when warm masculine arms came around her waist and pulled her back against a hard male chest.

  “I wish I didn’t have to go to work. I’d love nothing more than to spend the day with you.” Logan kissed the side of her neck and sent a shiver through her. She leaned back for a second, melted into him for a brief moment before she pulled away.

  “Connor will be down any second.” They’d agreed that for now what was happening between them needed to be kept from their son. She turned toward him and smiled to soften her rejection of his touch. If Connor wasn’t home, she would ask him to whisk her off to bed, but right now they’d hadn’t talked about a future together, and until they did, she would not give her son any reason to think that that future included his mother and father being together.

  “I know.” He leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. It was over too soon but she consoled herself that they would be together tonight. “So Connor is going swimming with friends and I’m going to the bar. What are your plans for the day?”

  She hesitated for a second. She planned to go to town and talk to Bill. So far he was the only friend she’d made in town, and she had an idea running through her head that she wanted to float past him. She didn’t want to talk to Logan about what was going on in her head until she was more certain of where they were going, but she needed to start thinking about what she wanted once the summer was over.

  “I’m going to go and hang out with Bill at the motel for a while.”

  The muscle twitched in his jaw, but he didn’t say anything as Connor came clattering down the stairs. He was wearing a pair of shorts
and a T-shirt with a towel slung over his shoulder and a backpack in his hand. He looked so much like the Connor he been before all the trouble started that she had to swallow hard. Her boy was coming back to her and it was all because of the man standing beside her.

  “I’m ready to go.” He didn’t seem to notice how close his father was standing to his mother, and Faith moved away from Logan to go toward him.

  “You have everything? A change of clothes and your sunscreen?” Connor had been invited to go swimming with one of his new friends, and it was the first outing that he was going on without either her or his father. If Logan hadn’t assured her that he would be fine and vouched for the family he was going with, she didn’t know if she would have let him go.

  “Yes, Mom.” Connor rolled his eyes and she was sure that it was because she’d already told him what he needed to pack, twice. “I’m going swimming, not off to boot camp.”

  He used a sarcastic tone as he heaved out a sigh. It elicited an immediate response from his father.

  “Connor.” His name was a growled warning but it was all that was needed for her son to get a sheepish look on his face.

  “Sorry, Mom.” He looked down at his shoes, and she fought the urge to tell Logan that it was okay, that he didn’t need to correct him. She refrained because if they were both going to parent Connor together he needed to mind his father.

  “Have a good time, honey.” She pulled him close and gave him a kiss on the cheek to show him there were no hard feelings. She felt privileged that he didn’t wipe her kiss off as was his habit lately.

  “Why don’t you go wait in the truck and I’ll be out in a second, bud.”

  Connor seemed relieved when his father spoke in a more casual tone and he gave her a grin as he rushed out the door. As soon as the door shut, Logan came up behind her and put his hands up on her shoulders.

  “I’m glad he’s finally fitting in here. I’ve been so worried about him but it’s like I’m getting my boy back. I’ll even take the smart mouth if it means he’s not going to get into any more trouble.” She turned around, and looked up at him. He stroked a finger down her cheek as his face softened.

  “I’m glad he’s settling down too.” His arms tightened around her. “Why did I decide to go to work today? I should have planned this better so I would have you all to myself. Guess I’ll have to hold on until we’re alone tonight.”

  He pulled her in for a deep kiss that made all kinds of promises. By the time he pulled away to leave, she was hot and bothered and wishing it was tonight already.

  She walked out the door with Logan and headed for her car. Logan gave her a little pat on the behind that her son couldn’t see, and winked at her. “See you later.”

  Faith gave a happy sigh as she got in her car and followed them into town as far as the motel. A part of her had been waiting for disaster to strike since she’d gone to Logan’s bed the first time, but all that had happened was both her and her son blossoming under his attention.

  She pulled up in front of the motel, and there were a few more cars here than there had been when she was here the last time. She hoped Bill wasn’t too busy to talk.

  She pulled open the door to the motel office and walked in. Bill’s face lit up when he saw her, and he waved her in as he continued to talk on the phone. As she sat waiting for him to get off the phone, she couldn’t escape the feeling that she wanted to build a life here. Connor was making friends and so was she. It seemed so long ago, instead of close to a month ago, that she’d come here in desperation. She was surprised to realized that she didn’t miss the house she and Connor had lived in for the past five years. That the house they now shared with Logan was feeling like their home.

  Bill finally got off the phone and smiled at her. “This is a surprise. Did we make plans that I forgot about?”

  “No, I just wanted to talk to you about something. If you’re busy I can come back.” She hadn’t thought that Bill might not have time for her and perhaps she should have. But she needed to talk to someone about her idea and Bill was it.

  “No need. Do you want to go into the back and we’ll have a cup of coffee and talk?”

  Faith got up off her chair and went behind the desk and into Bill’s office. She sat down in the chair and laced her fingers together. Bill busied himself making coffee but she made no move to take it once he set it in front of her. He went around to his chair and looked at her.

  Now that the time had come to talk about it, she was growing nervous. As long as the idea was in her head it was safe, she didn’t have to act on it. But she couldn’t help but feel that once it was out in the open she would have to do something about it.

  “What’s wrong?” Bill’s voice was quiet and she could see concern in his eyes. “Is there a problem with Connor? With Logan?”

  “Oh God, no. Things couldn’t be better between all of us. I wanted to pick your brain about something.” She reached for the coffee to buy some time before she needed to speak again. “I was thinking about what to do once the summer is over. Connor is doing so well here, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to uproot him and take him back.”

  There was more to it than that but she wasn’t ready to share that with anyone. She could feel herself growing closer to Logan, and developing feelings for him that would make it impossible to walk away from him in September. But she couldn’t tell Bill that. If anyone should be the first to know that she was falling in love it should be Logan.

  “Are you talking about staying here? That’s great Faith.” There was a knowing look in Bill’s face and she wondered if she was fooling him by saying that the reason she wanted to stay was for Connor’s sake. “I’m going to assume that you are going to continue to live with Logan?”

  “Well he is Connor’s father and it would be better if we were together as a family. So I don’t need to look for some place to live but I will need something to do. It’s fine to be idle for the summer but I’ll go out of my mind if I have to sit around and do nothing for too long.”

  “I don’t know if you noticed, but we’re pretty isolated here. I don’t know that you are going to find anything in your field.”

  She’d mentioned to Bill in passing during their one date that she worked for an accounting firm. She knew there were no firms anywhere near here, but that wasn’t what she had in mind anyway. She’d gotten tired of putting in the hours that she needed to, especially during tax season. She’d been headed for a change, even before she and Connor had come here. For her, Connor was the most important thing in her life and she wanted to be able to devote as much time to him as she had to spare.

  “I’m not thinking of going to work for a firm. I noticed that there are a lot of independent businesses here, and I was thinking of opening a small business as well, doing bookkeeping and preparing taxes. I wanted to know if you thought that there might be a need for something like that.”

  If the idea wasn’t feasible she’d think of something else, but by the way Bill’s face lit up she didn’t think she had to.

  “Are you kidding? I have to travel for two and a half hours to meet with my accountant and I have to do my own books, which I hate. And I’m sure I’m not the only one in the same boat. If you opened a place like that you’d have more business than you could shake a stick at. What does Logan think about all this?”

  “I haven’t told him.” And she wasn’t sure she was going to, at least not right now. Until he made some indication that he was thinking about them being together beyond September, she didn’t want to push him.

  “Why not?”

  “I want to put together a business plan and get all my ducks in a row. I’ll tell him once I have a firm plan in place.” It would take a while to put her plans together and if she was going to start a business she was going to need money to get it going. She told herself that she didn’t want to tell him right away because she didn’t want him to feel obligated to help her out financially. She wanted to do this on her own.

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nbsp; Even as she told herself that, she knew it wasn’t the whole truth. The real reason she was hesitant to say anything at this point was just because she was feeling closer to Logan didn’t mean he felt the same. She’d wait a little longer until he gave her some sign that a future where they were together was what he wanted too and she’d show him her business plan. It would prove to him that she wanted to stay and build a life and a family with him.

  11

  So far the notion of getting any work done was a bust. Logan struggled to get through next week’s food and booze order and that wasn’t like him. His mind kept going back to Faith and he found himself staring off into space with a stupid grin on his face. Maybe he should have given today a miss, should have played hooky with her. Any thought that he would be tired of her by now evaporated in the face of the possessive desire he felt for her. He’d had to force it down this morning when she told him she was going to go hang out with Bill.

  She was making friends, well one at least, and Logan hoped it was a sign that she was starting to make her life here. Deep down it was what he wanted, and he sighed as he put his pen aside.

  There was no way there was going to be any more work done in this office today. Things were going so well with Faith that he was starting to think about a future with her. But what did that mean for his pack? Could he walk away from them, could he turn away from his obligations to them as alpha, in order to make himself happy as a man?